


Sheep in Fog

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: #666foryou [293]
Category: Damien (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Missing Scene, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:45:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7952143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seems fitting somehow to end it all here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sheep in Fog

**Author's Note:**

> Date Written: 3 September 2016  
> Word Count: 587  
> Prompt: "Sheep in Fog" by Sylvia Plath  
> Summary: It seems fitting somehow to end it all here.  
> Spoilers: Missing scene, taking place during the events of episode 01x05 "Seven Curses." Beyond that, everything we learned in these 10 episodes is up for grabs.  
> Warnings: Suicide ideation, suicide attempt.  
> Series: #666foryou  
> Series: Ariel  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Damien," "The Omen," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Glen Mazzara, David Seltzer, 20th Century Fox Television, Fox 21, and A&E Television Networks. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Damien," "The Omen," A&E, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This was both easier and harder than I expected for me to write. I have wanted to delve deeper into Damien's thoughts when he's prepping for and attempting suicide since the episode aired. This mostly does that. I may explore it more in the future, but I'm pleased with this first foray into that realm.
> 
> Dedication: This is part of a series of stories to thank the phenomenal creative team of _Damien_ , both in front of and behind the camera.
> 
> Beta: theonlyspl

"People or stars  
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them."  
\-- Sylvia Plath, "Sheep in Fog"

 

It seems fitting somehow to end it all here. It's been mine since they died, but it's never really been _mine_. How can I consider this house home when I spent so little time in it? I barely remember any of it; random snippets pop up occasionally, usually in conjunction with some nightmare or tragic world experience. But if tragedy is what this place is known for, then what's one more to add to it?

I can just picture the headlines now.

_Son of famous diplomat Robert Thorn found dead at home._

_World famous war photographer dead at age 30._

_Tragic suicide at Thorn estate completes trifecta of regrettable family deaths._

And the inevitable critics will come out of the woodwork to criticize every detail of my life and my parents' lives. They'll find ways to blame my parents, blame the greater society at large, blame me. As long as the blame doesn't point at any of them, they can sleep at night and feel guilt-free. 

But I'll still be dead and the insanity will be over. No more worrying about how I don't quite live up to the expectations of what the son of a diplomat should be like. I've been a disappointment since I was five and living with the President and First Lady. He didn't mind, but she did. To this day, I have no idea if she ever found anything positive to say about me that wasn't couched in layers upon layers of politically correct rhetoric.

Why is this whiskey not kicking in yet? I'm no lightweight, but I've killed off most of the bottle already. I should be feeling _something_. And maybe that's the problem. I feel too much or not enough. There's no middle ground to show that I'm normal. No one should have to put up with my extremes. Hell, Amani didn't even pick up when I called him. Guess I'm not as important as I thought.

That's fine. It just makes this easier. There's enough morphine left, and I seriously doubt that Alex minds me taking it. The whiskey's almost gone. The car is running. There's only one thing left before I can just drift off into oblivion. Just one thing left to prove that I'm the disappointment they all think I am.

Maybe the world really will be a better place without me. Everyone I love eventually dies: my nannies, my parents, Kelly. So I suppose I'm doing Amani and Simone a favor by getting outta Dodge before their numbers come up. They deserve better than to be saddled with a harbinger of death like me. Amani can find someone else to work with. He's talented as hell and will have people clamoring for his attention. He and Simone could even team up somehow, I bet. They'd be good for each other.

The morphine is a soothing, cold fire in my veins. There's that momentary shock before my body accepts the blunting of… _everything_. That's it. That's what I need. Just blunt it all. Let it go. Fuck my problems. Fuck the world. Fuck everything.

Just float and let go.

One last long pull off the whiskey bottle. I can feel my throat muscles as the whiskey burns down to warm my gut. It increases that floating sensation and suddenly my neck won't hold up my head anymore. Slumping back against the headrest, my eyelids flutter shut.

Just float and let go.

I'm sorry…


End file.
